... My every devotee ... Is the One and Only and Non-Separate and Real God I Have Come to Serve...
—Avatar Adi Da Samraj

How Total Satisfaction Found Me

by Greg Wells

Greg WellsThe huge meeting hall was full to overflowing with people singing joyously to The Divine Heart-Master, Adi Da Samraj. The space was "fat" with the tangible, Love-Bliss of His Spiritual Transmission. And there, in the midst of the ecstatic scene swooned a veteran of the "black liberation movement." We were ecstatically and paradoxically chanting to Reality Itself, the non-creator God in the human form of Guru, astounded that the long awaited and expected "late time" God-Man prophesied in every major religious tradition was unbelievably yet undeniably here!

I felt that I was finally 'Home,' and was intuiting a 'Place' that was utterly beyond this temporary, limited realm: a place that was a far cry from the circumstance of me, as a little boy, in one of the worst ghettos in Philadelphia, sitting daydreaming on the top of my bunk bed, and realizing in utter terror that I was this physical body; that this body would definitely die; that it could die in any moment! I had heard from adult authority that "when you're dead, you're dead."

Back then, this mortal philosophy of "when you're dead, you're dead" drove me to find an answer to the problem of death. So, I went to the premier book and authority I had heard about, known as the Word of God, the Bible. In fact, by the time I was a teenager, I had read the Bible at least three times from cover to cover, seeking a satisfactory answer to death. I would gang war during the day, and read the Bible at night! But no matter how much I read the Bible or gang warred, I found no Total Satisfaction.

Well, I eventually gave up on religion and gang warring and went into the black power movement as a black militant. Now, I was a black revolutionary, a cultural nationalist, a Pan-Africanist, and a Black Panthers and Nation of Islam sympathizer. And I did not get back into religion until my sophomore year in college, when I took a course called "The Black Experience," with a brilliant black teacher.

A legend on the campus, this teacher integrated Black Nationalism with the more publicly oriented teachings of Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Confucius. The primary text for this class was The Religions of Man. My favorites were Hinduism and Buddhism. One section about Hinduism really grabbed me, because it spoke directly to what I really wanted. It was called the "Four Wants of Man."

According to the Hindu tradition, you can have whatever you want in life, but only what you truly want deep in your heart will be completely satisfactory. After an examination of what we think we want, and finding them lacking in permanence and utter satisfaction (pleasure, fame, wealth, power, success, and duty or service), Hinduism concludes that the greatest and deepest want and need of every being is unlimited Being (Sat), unlimited Consciousness (Chit), and unlimited Joy (Ananda). Combined in one word, we want Satchitananda.

This spoke to exactly what I had wanted as a small boy, on that day when I sat on top of my bunk bed in terror. The paradox was that Hinduism also said you cannot "get" Satchitananda since it is Unconditional -- beyond the realm of cause and effect. Like Grace, it has to be given to you. So how was I to get from "here" to "there?"

Since my college professor was the wisest man I had ever known, I joined his secret society and dedicated my life to its goals for over ten years. But still, I could get no Total Satisfaction (Satchitananda.) I did get a sniff of Total Satisfaction one time while singing "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother," with a vocal harmony "doo-wop" group. The song spontaneously changed into a call and response chant. I was the leader of the chant, and decided to just let myself go. I became more and more ecstatic as I was improvising, losing virtually all sense of separateness, yet my Consciousness and Happiness greatly expanded. The audience and I were one. So much so that when one of my brand new contact lenses popped out of my eye, I knew that about a third of my monthly income was on the floor and would be stomped to pieces. But I didn't care, for now Total Satisfaction (Satchitananda) was no longer just an idea. I felt something of what it was, and it totally changed my life. I wanted to live in that state forever, nothing else would do.

This life altering singing experience pointed to the mind as the limit on Total Satisfaction. So I started studying hundreds of positive mental attitude books and tapes, and applying their techniques in my life. But I found out that attitude and self-improvement did not cut deep enough into my unconscious bondage.

Then most fortunately, I came across a book about Ramana Maharshi. He was a great Indian sage who died in 1950. I loved everything he said. He revealed the anciently proven secret to unconditional liberation! It was the devotional and Spiritual relationship between Guru and devotee. The premise was simple. If you want Total Satisfaction (Satchitananda), find someone (a Guru) who is perpetually in the realized state of Total Satisfaction, and who will literally spiritually transmit that realization to you! By Grace, you will, in time, duplicate the Guru's Realization. Now, I knew the secret of how you get from "here" to "there!"

So, I read every book written by or about Ramana Maharshi that I could find. I even wrote to his ashram in southern India, but there wasn't a live teacher locally available. In despair, I read the Maharshi books over and over again. And I got no Total Satisfaction. I found even authentic and great spiritual books were no substitute for the direct relationship with Guru.

Then one day, mysteriously, I received a catalog through the mail from a place called The Dawn Horse Book Depot. In it, various notables and scholars kept talking big talk and making outlandish claims about this Guru called Da Free John (Adi Da Samraj). I really liked the name Da Free John. So I looked on the cover of this book called The Method of The Siddhas, and who did I see? I didn't see a Guru, I saw a white man!

I thought to myself, "Who does this white man think he is? White men can't be Gurus. They're good at making war, and at technology, and business. But authentic spirituality is the exclusive domain of 'people of color.' And not only is he white, he was born near New York City, and he started his teaching work in Hollywood, California, the place of show business, fantasy, fakery, and façade! The audacity of this guy with all this big talk is unbelievable! What an ego!!"

You see, I had come to believe that white people were the natural enemy of people of color. There was no need to be in despair or to hate white people. It was just part of the natural order of things. Nature is composed of opposites, like water and fire, lion and zebra, positive and negative .. and black and white. That is reality, therefore, you couldn't change it. And even though Ramana Maharshi had greatly undermined this presumption for me because he said the great error was presuming you were the physical body, I still initially rejected Adi Da Samraj because of the color of his human form.

Well, the Dawn Horse Book Depot had some books on Ramana Maharshi that I didn't have. So I ordered them all. And I read them repeatedly, and still, I could get no Total Satisfaction. I got no closer to Love-Bliss Itself, and the long and short of it was, I knew that I needed a living Guru to "get from here to there".

So, after two years of dissatisfaction, I reread all those big claims about Adi Da Samraj and looked at his photo again. I ordered the smallest and cheapest of the books he'd written, The Four Fundamental Questions. But when the book came and I read the first page and slammed it down in utter amazement! I stood up and walked around the room excitedly. I thought to myself, "This white man is God! God dammit! He's God! He's Real!"

I did not want to believe it, but I could not deny it . This white man was Utter Satisfaction! Absolute Happiness in Person! And the more I read the book, the more it was confirmed for me that despite what He looked like, He was the most authentic, articulate, and complete Guru I had ever read. Adi Da Samraj's Teaching transcended even the teachings of Ramana Maharshi (and Krishna, and Buddha, and Jesus, and Lao Tzu, and Swami Muktananda). He Spoke with much greater depth, detail and clarity, in His own words, without any translations. Not only that, the Spiritual Force coming from this book would sometimes spontaneously move my head around blissfully and slowly.

Well, after my initial joy of finally finding the non-creator God in the Agency of Adi Da Samraj, I thought in despair, "Why did God have to come in the form of a white man?"

But, I had already recognized that Adi Da Samraj was Truth Itself. And it dawned on me how suitable and strategic it was that Infinite Being, Consciousness and Joy (Satchitananda) would use as Its human Agency the physical form of a western (white) man. For the western white man has most destroyed the planet. He rules, and everyone else is trying to emulate him. Also, it was the perfect insult and means of liberation for all the people of color like me who presumed that the white man was inherently evil, and that only people of color had souls, innate goodness and spirituality.

So, recognizing Adi Da Samraj to be Reality Itself, appearing mysteriously in human form, I studied His books like a starved man who was finally getting some satisfaction. And I became his formal devotee.

In the words of Adi Da Samraj:

...no one should misunderstand Me. By Revealing and Confessing My Divine Status to one and all and All, I am not indulging in self-appointment, or in illusions of grandiose Divinity. I am not claiming the "Status" of the "Creator-God" of public, and social, and idealistically pious religion. Rather, by Standing Firm in the Divine Position, and ... Refusing to be approached as a mere man, or as a "cult"-figure, or as a "cult"-leader... I Am ... Most Perfectly Fulfilling the Primary Esoteric Tradition ... of the collective historical Great Tradition of mankind - ... the Tradition and the Principle of devotion to the ... Guru As the Very Person of the Eternal and Non-Separate Divine Self-Condition and Source-Condition of all and All....

... My every devotee ... Is the One and Only and Non-Separate and Real God I Have Come to Serve...

This is my story of how Total Satisfaction—Infinite Being, Infinite Consciousness, and Infinite Joy, Adi Da Samraj, found me. And I want you to know that whether you are poor or rich, living the black experience or the white experience, a male, a female, believer or materialist, agnostic or atheist, liberal or conservative, eastern or western, the Transcendental Divine Being, utterly beyond all dualities and opposites Is Here. And lastly, if you are going to die and all your love ones are going to die, The Truth beyond and prior to death Is Here! The Divine World Teacher and late time promised God-Man prophesied in all the world religions, Avatar Adi Da Samraj Is Here to Teach, and Bless, and Awaken you to Total Satisfaction.

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